Mistakes were made as I was a child…

It all started with me learning a lesson about how cars work…

My mother had got into our new, piano black, Audi Q7 that my dad had just bought that week. When she had got into the car I made sure to pay attention to the push-to-start sequence since I had always dreamed of myself driving that car. I saw that you had to press the brake before turning it on. After my  mother had turned the car on she continued to put the car into reverse. i had asked, “mom, why do you hold the brake when changing gears?”

“Because that’s the only way you can, if you didn’t the gear wouldn’t change,” she responded.

That had been the most important lesson I learned, but was also one of the worst decision my mom had made.

The next day, my father thrown a party to show off the car. This was quite a possession for my dad and he wanted everyone to appreciate it. My uncle buys/sells cars as a business, so my father had wanted to impress him with his new toy. Even though the car had all of the top-of-the-line technology such as; navigation, sunroof, and heated steering, but my uncle refused to tell my father it was a nice car. All the while this was happening my mother had sent e out to fetch my dad and uncles some food. Once the job was done I had thought it was a good idea to hop in the drivers seat to get my first feel of driving this new SUV. The car was left turned on and my childish mind thought it was a good idea to put the car in reverse to see how this gear changing stuff works. I had put the car in reverse and was about to run over my, car enthusiast, uncle. It was at this time I had also learned how to put the car in park, since my dad was on his way to beat my ass. We had made eye contact through the side mirrors and it was at that moment that I had poped the car in park and fled to my mother as fast as my chubby legs could carry me, hoping that she would defend me against my angry dad.

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8 thoughts on “Mistakes were made as I was a child…

  1. Very good, its entertaining, and fun to read. You were able to use descriptive words to paint the picture of the car in my head. However, there were a lot of silly mistakes scattered throughout this post, that really are easy fixes. For example, in one sentence you forgot to capitalize the “I”, and in another, you forgot to put the “m” in me. It’s also a little short and lacks moral, but overall a nice story for me to read and for you to tell.

    1. Dear Jimmy,

      I am very appreciative of your feedback and will make sure to go back into my work and edit it more thoroughly. My lack of writing and reading made it very hard for me to expand on it though I know some ways I could make it even slightly longer. Also, the moral of the story was between two and me being as indecisive as I am could not choose so I see how it seems to lack an explicit moral.

      Nonetheless, thank you so much for reading this piece and enjoying it so much I appreciate it.


  2. Dear Amit:

    This was a great piece and I very much enjoyed reading it. Even though I know you already, it was still very entertaining to learn about your character in this way of a story! You have a great voice and the humour was well appreciated, especially in the line: “It was at this time I had also learned how to put the car in park, since my dad was on his way to beat my ass.”
    I think you should clean up some grammar issues to make this a better piece, but that will come with time and more experience in writing. Also, I think this work could’ve benefited from some more writing, particularly about your feelings at the time. I’d like to go deep inside the mind of young Amit.
    Overall, this was a pleasure to read, and please continue to grow and keep writing on this blog!


    1. Dear Zaid,

      Even though I have known you for quite some time I am glad that you got to know some more about me and enjoyed it. I appreciate your feedback as I know you are an amazing writer and would love to learn from you.

      I will make sure to give this story another good read through that is more thorough so that it does not have as many grammar mistakes. Thank you for your suggestion about expanding on my thoughts at the time since I had not actually thought about that and it would’ve made my story longer and more descriptive.

      Thank you,

  3. Dear Amit,

    I enjoyed reading your anecdote very much. It interests me of how one can possibly die of curiosity and this was the case with your scenario; very badly wanting to get a “feel of your new SUV”.

    Your descriptions were great for the most part but there are some places where the reader does cannot imagine the scene and to improve this a few descriptive words could be added to enhance the quality of the piece. Also, there were a few minor spelling errors. For example, when you wrote “All the while this was happening my mother had sent e out to fetch my dad and uncles some food.” and forgot to write me and instead wrote e. On the contrary this piece of your was amazing.


    1. Dear Muhammed,

      I am very glad that you enjoyed my piece, and am also very appreciative about the feedback that you have given me.

      I agree with your thought that more descriptive words could enhance the quality of my work so I will take that with me the next time I write a piece. Thank you for making me aware of my grammatical errors I will make sure to go back and read through my piece to make sure it is polished.

      Thank you,

  4. Dear Amit,

    This piece was definitely enjoyable. It was funny to see how curiosity can lead to such destruction. The way you described everything made me feel like I was present in this situation. All the visuals and ideas were clear and easy to read which made this piece easy to follow, read, and understand.

    There were a few grammatical errors, and some miss typed words. I saw that “me” was missing the “m”. Also, I think you could restrict from using informal language such as “ass” just to keep the language a bit friendly. Since that word did suit the situation, you could’ve wrote it as “a** “.

    Other than minor grammatical errors, this piece defiantly caught my attention and was absolutely enjoyable!


    1. Dear Faryal,

      I’m glad that you enjoyed my piece and thought it was amazing. It sure does mean a lot.

      As for the grammatical errors thank you so much for pointing them out so fixing them is a lot easier. Also thank you for that tip about keeping the language a lot more formal and using asterisks so it is more friendly but I can still use it as it part of the piece.


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